Friday, April 18, 2014

I've Never Heard That Before...

It goes a little something like this.  "Oh, your daughter looks nothing like you."  "She must really look like her dad."  "She's her daddy's mini alright." 
Little me on Easter Day ;)

What can I say?  I have heard these comments way to many times in my life as being a mother.  At first I kind of nod and say yes, or try to convince the person "No she really does look like me."  Then after hearing it so many times I sort of get annoyed and feel like, "Hey I carried this child in my body for 9 months and pushed her out all by myself.  I'm pretty damn sure she looks like me!
Obviously I hear this about both of my girls.  Should I feel bad about getting irked the more and more I hear it? Sometimes it makes me feel pretty crappy.  I know we all say things without thinking first, once and a while.  Maybe I'm just PMS'in. What I do know is that I hear and feel the exact same way my mother did with me. I just never gave it much thought until I became a mom, myself.  Or maybe she has thicker skin than me and let comments like this slide off her back. 
 
My mom is totally Irish looking with the exception of red hair.  She is fair skinned, blue green eyes and light brown hair. When she gets a tan its pretty much freckles.  Then there is my dad who is pure Cambodian, brown eyed, black haired, and has brown skin.  Apparently the darker features usually dominate the gene pool, like they did in my case.  However for little Amira she has the most porcelain skin and blue eyes.  So I definitely hear this about her.
Now there is my little baby Gia (yes I still call her that)  Everyone always say she's the spitting image of Mario.  Yes, I know she looks so much like her good looking daddy.  But come on, they look like me too! There are many features my girls and I share that most don't take the time to see, so I am getting use to that.  I use to say, Oh we have the same ears, or same birth mark, nose, or whatever. Finally I just stopped.  I just have to keep those things special to me and see them through my motherly eyes.

I was reluctant on posting this only because I don't love blogging about negativity in my life.  Then a wonderful friend reached out to me talking about very similar issues in her life. As humans we all make mistakes and can pass judgement, but really, we as a whole should work on that.  Especially when children are involved and the hurtful things are being said in front of them...

9 comments:

  1. I can totally feel for you on hurtful comments, as a adoptive mother I can't tell you how many rude comments we have heard like "she looks just like she could be your daughter" or" which one is yours?" umm hello I am her mom and they are all 3 mine but only 2 share my DNA! I have to remind myself that people mean well but don't know how hurtful there words can be especially in front of kids. I am guilty of commenting that Amira must look like your mama and I did not say that to be hurtful I am sorry, I am always amazed when you see a blonde beauty with blue eyes come from a dark haired dark eyed tan mama just because it is so common that the dark gene always dominates so I think it is pretty special! She totally looks like you in that picture! But remember it is not looking alike that makes you a mama, you could have adopted a African American baby and you would still be the mama because DNA is not what makes us parents! We always tell Taylor she did not grow in my Tummy but in my heart! You are such a awesome mama and your girls seem so happy, your doing such a good job! It is easy to see your there mama they have the happy look of adoration in there eyes for you in pictures! <3

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  2. Love every last bit of this post! Especially baby you;) Thanks for making my sick day a better one. I love our talks!!

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  3. I can so relate to this. Glad you shared this post. Have a wonderful weekend! :)

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  4. Yes, yes, yes.

    My Naomi girl has really fair skin, and lighter hair and whenever we are out, everyone says she looks nothing like me! It gets really annoying after a while. Totally feel you girl!

    Your girls look like you and will always be a part of you!

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  5. I bet that is annoying!!! They are both beautiful and I definitely see u in them!!! Xo

    wordsaboutwaverly.blogspot.com

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  6. It's so weird the way people try to clarify who babies actually look like. I never really thought about it until I had my own. I understand it, deep down, because they're new little people and the way they're created and how they form is so amazing, yanno? But even as someone who's told my daughter is a total blend of my husband and I -- it gets old. And on the times people have only seen my husband in her, I have to fight a surge of NOT UH, SHE LOOKS LIKE ME TOO SEEEEEE? that threatens to come roaring out of my mouth.

    Also, I absolutely see you in your daughter! Both in the picture of you as a young girl AND in your profile picture.

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  7. Girl, I feel you. My daughter has fair skin, blue eyes and light brown hair, her dad and I both have dark hair, brown eyes, and olive skin. All the time I hear " she looks nothing like you" . "They gave you the wrong baby at the hospital" I've come so close to freakin' the F out, but I just smile or say something sarcastic like "she's the milk man's baby" Usually that shuts them up. Lol.

    Some people are just out there and have no filter, just keep your chin up, momma!

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  8. It was so refreshing to read this post. I get those same comments about my son. It's so aggravating to hear that your child looks nothing like you.

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